Never ready for this.

Our family was on track to have a nice Christmas holiday this year. Gifts were bought, wrapped and under the tree or sent in the mail. My husband had another of his great menus planned. There was a Contra dance on Christmas Eve that we were looking forward to going to.

I’ve also been looking forward to taking my mother on a cruise to Mexico in April; just she and I. She went on her first cruise ever in Sept of ‘06 with us.  I was teaching, as it was a knitting cruise to Alaska.

My husband spent much of his time on that cruise looking after Mom which she just LOVED as she thought him one of the most handsome, wonderful men she’s ever met. She had the time of her life. She enjoyed her favorite things; lots of live music, great food and feeding the slot machines every night after dinner. I think she’s talked about it every day since then.

I was getting excited about  spending some too rare one-on-one time with her as well as going on a non-work related honest-to-God vacation.  The plan was to go by ourselves;  just ten days to hang out with my mom, do a little shopping, get massages and facials on board and live the good life. It doesn’t get much better than that.

So a day or two before Christmas I called her to get some of her info to give the travel agent. I needed her exact name as appears on her passport and some other info, which she gave me.  Then she went on about how excited she was that we’d be going and we started to wind each other up talking about how much fun it was going to be.  She said brightly, “I dream about it every night!” Then she said she was tired and wanted to take a nap, but that she’d call me back later that afternoon.

When the phone rang about two hours later, thinking it was her  I answered with my usual chirp when I knew she’d be calling.  It was not my mom, but instead my brother. He was calling to tell me our mother had died in her bed about a half hour before.

My mom was my biggest fan, and so very proud of the person I’d become. She’d tell anyone who would listen about my designing and being the mother of a special needs son.  Last May, when I brought her one of the first copies my book Knitting Lingerie Style and put it in her lap,  you’d have thought it was the Crown Jewels from the look on her face.  I was and am glad that she was so proud of me; it was all I ever really wanted.

In her heyday (the 1940’s) she was a fashionista. She and three of her sisters  lived at home and held full time jobs as secretaries or hairdressers. Much of their pay went to the assembly of some pretty darned impressive wardrobes. There were family photos of them  in one fabulous suit after another (no mean feat during wartime with all of it’s rationing) with gorgeous little bags and shoes, chic little hats, and furs flung over their shoulders on their way to church. I am positive that seeing the photos and home movies of them was one of the biggest influences on my own design esthetic.

My mother was the youngest of seven siblings and though her name was Angela, her family would use the diminutive “Angelina” to tease her, as would my father all through their 67 year marriage. To say she disliked this would have been putting it mildly, and my dad would good naturedly taunt her with it just to get a rise out of her.

I continued the family tradition five years ago when I designed this garment inspired by a bedjacket pattern from the 40’s. It reminded me so much of something she would have worn, I called it the Angelina Vintage jacket.

I thought she would really be bugged that I named this garment Angelina and I did it just to tease her, but to my surprise she was delighted !  I ran it frequently in national knitting ads and she would excitedly thumb through the magazines at the grocery store just to find it. If she did, it would make her day!

So this is my tribute to my dear mother.  A portion  of every Angelina pattern that we sell between now and her birthday on May 20th will go toward a donation in her name to her favorite charity , her local SPCA. She loved animals and gave much of her time volunteering there.

Later in our lives,  my mom became one of my best friends and I hers. I still  reach for the phone a dozen times a day to call her, just to share a little snippet of something fun that I heard or did until I realize she won’t be there to answer. I miss this terribly.  They say it gets easier with time, but at this moment I just don’t see how it can.

Tis’ the season

With the season of gift-giving upon us, I read a lot of posts from knitters who have had unsatisfying  experiences  in the presentation of their knitted items. Perhaps the recipient has not shown the proper amount of enthusiasm upon opening the gift or while they may have thanked the giver properly, the item is never seen again until yard sale season  whereupon it is discovered being sold. In an extreme case or two, I’ve even read of a hand knit item being repurposed as a dog bed.  

All of those scenarios can be heartbreaking for the giver, but I have to say that perhaps knitters are setting themselves up for this kind of disappointment.  If  they have not seriously asked themselves if the intended recipient is the type of person who will appreciate a handmade gift or wouldn’t even know the difference between lovingly handmade socks or a six-pack of tube socks from Walmart,  perhaps the latter is a better idea.

Then there are the givers who won’t let go. They’ll expect to see the scarf or sweater on you every time you meet. Even worse several years down the road they might ask to borrow the gift back from you. That can be enormously treacherous if you don’t know the giver is that sort of person.

Years ago I had a boyfriend whose aunt I just loved and who also thought very highly of me. I thought she was a great lady; creative, interesting, kind, etc..  She kept an interestingly decorated home, cultivated a lovely garden  and was active in a poetry guild in town.  She also loved to paint in acrylics on large canvases.  She liked to do modern depictions in bright primary colors which fit beautifully into her sunny, modern home.

While I loved the fact that she enjoyed painting so much and liked visiting her in her studio, personally her art was not to my taste.  My home was and is filled with antiques and I have very few things on the walls.  Most of the color comes from textiles and I’ve always liked it that way.

Imagine my dismay when  upon my next birthday, she produces a huge gift wrapped canvas-shaped present for me.  I saw it coming at me and my heart fell into my shoes because I knew what it was.  That’s right; the biggest (4′ x 4′ ) and most butt-ugly painting of a tulip you ever saw in hot pinks, reds and greens.

I. Just. Hated it. But I dutifully hung it in my hallway in the home I shared with my boyfriend, so when his Auntie came over she was delighted to see it there.  I just couldn’t get past it’s ugliness so  developed a habit of turning my head and looking at family photos on the other wall whenever I walked by.

Fast forward to three years later; boyfriend and I are no more and I am moving out of the home we shared.  I really wanted to divorce myself of all the material things that reminded me of him,  so feeling that the statute of limitations was up on the painting, I hauled it off to the Goodwill with other boxes of discards.

Time passes, another year or two go by  and I am married to someone else.  Out of the blue  the phone rings and it’s Auntie.  She is having an exhibition at a gallery and would like to borrow back the painting from me to use in her show.

I was a deer caught in the headlights.  I just couldn’t tell her I dumped her painting off at the Goodwill,  so my mind worked quickly.  I told her that it had been badly damaged in my last move  so I regretfully no longer had the painting.

She was clearly very upset and angrily told me that I should have let her know the moment it happened so that she could have at least tried to repair it.  And so, a lovely friend forever thinks poorly of me because I didn’t handle her gift in a way that she thought was befitting it.   I can only imagine what she’d have thought of me if she knew the truth.

I have to think that this is the sort of attachment many of us hook to our knitted items .  Having learned a painful lesson with that painting,  I try to give my gifts without those strings.   If it isn’t received well or is handled poorly,  it’s  no longer my business.

The making of Knitting Lingerie Style-part 1

During  2005 -06′, much of my time was spent designing,  knitting and writing for my book Knitting Lingerie Style.

This was my first book and as such the first time I’ve had to think in terms of what kinds of things to include in a compilation of designs rather than in single, stand-alone patterns.  I also learned that there are as many types of book deals as there are publishing companies and when shopping a book proposal around it can pay to be discriminating.

I had submitted a proposal previously for a book of plus sized knits  to a different publishing company, one fairly well known for knitting and craft books and one with which several high profile knitters whom I know personally had worked with. 

  Being a newbie, I didn’t know what to expect if a proposal was accepted and was surprised to find out what this particular publishing company offered a first time author, which essentially was  nothing in the way of payment until way down the road. No sales or production advance ( meaning that all of the work  previous to publication would be done on my nickel - a very expensive proposition for me were I to hire knitters or ask other designers to contribute, not to mention the countless hours I would put in myself ).  All remuneration would come after the book was published and sold, most likely  a year or longer after turning in the completed manuscript.  This amounts to essentially my taking on a very large project on spec; a somewhat frightening proposition. I’d been told by an experienced author friend to expect at least a production advance of a couple of thousand dollars to be offered,  and if it were not to proceed with caution if at all.

I also asked the editor if I would be welcome at the photo shoot, and as it turns out they do not allow designers to be present for the photography of their own book. This idea absolutely made me twitch as I’ve seen firsthand what a disaster photo shoots can be and I know that bad photography can kill perfectly lovely  garments dead.

I was more than somewhat relieved when I received a rejection notice along with my proposal back in the mail, but on the heels of that was a phone call from the very same publisher. The editor told me that the reason for the rejection was that they already had a plus-sized knits book in the works, but would I  be interested in working with them on a book of “romantic knits”? She then asked that I  submit another proposal featuring the new topic.

I dragged my heels on this for weeks, as putting together a proposal is a time consuming project in itself. One must submit some sample designs and swatches, write up a table of contents and a sample chapter, then essentially defend your concept and tell the publisher why you feel that this book will sell. You’re to do the research and find any comparable books already out there and include those as well.   Since my enthusiasm for this company had already dimmed,  this was just one of the things I was never going to get around to.

And a darn good thing it was, too. Not a month later  Melanie Falick, an editor  at STC books and former long time editor at Interweave Knits called me and asked if I were interested in doing a book with her. As it turned out, the terms offered were far more favorable to  me as an author  ( even as a newbie ) , and I was delighted to be able to work with Melanie as I consider her to be one of the best editors in the business.  I was walking on air!

Next time, the writing and designing processes themselves.

Vintage Holiday Sweater

I have a confession to make.

I really do enjoy holiday sweaters.  Not the Kmart variety with tinsel and applique candy canes, but the handknit styles with reindeer and pine trees.

Many years ago, as  twenty-something knitter, I received my copy of the Winter Vogue Knitting c. 1985 in the mail and lightning struck!   This sweater HAD to be mine:

As a starving newlywed, I could afford only acrylic yarn but didn’t let that stop me. I promptly made it up in red and cream working the intarsia as it should be done, and going the extra mile by decorating the trees with red sequins. Alas, upon wearing that beauty  the next holiday season, it fell apart beyond any repair after washing (intarsia ends cut way too short and woven in badly; what can I say-lesson learned).

Ten years passed by with me no longer a newlywed (but still starving) and wishing every holiday season that I had that  sweater to wear.  One day in 1995,  I came upon some beautiful black Ballybrae wool yarn, nine skeins worth at a thrift shop for $.50 each, which was plenty for one of the colors needed for  that coveted sweater. What a find and what an omen! At that price I could afford to pay full boat for the other color needed, and did at my LYS with some Patons Classic Wool. Even though it was the middle of summer, I was completely inspired to have that coveted sweater finished by the following holiday season.

This time I decided not to take any chances and did the larger blocks of color first, only then duplicate stitching the details. A  tiny skein of  real angora that had been marinating in my stash became the perfect snowy accents. With my much-improved knitting skills and the better quality yarn, that beauty was once again mine.

This is still my standard holiday sweater.  I know,  I know;  the shape is a bit dated 12 years later  (22 years from the original publication)  and that red is awfully bright.  If I were to see it hanging on the rack in a store now, I’d wonder what the heck they were thinking.  Even so, I reach for this when we are heading to Tahoe to play in the snow or just for  a windy, cold evening walk in the neighborhood.

But still…I am considering knitting it yet again in colors that are slightly less contrasting (Charcoal and Cranberry?), maybe leaving off the angora and possibly racheting the shoulders down a few notches. Or not.

Book signing/ Class-Oakland, California

For any of you who will be in the San Francisco Bay Area this weekend, I will be signing books and giving a class called “Fundies: Knit Your Own Lingerie”at the Knitting Basket in Oakland on Saturday,  Dec 1.

I’ll have many garments from Knitting Lingerie Style with me and some of my vintage inspired styles from White Lies Designs.

Kelley Nayo is the owner of the Knitting Basket, and she’s told me that she has some of the harder-to-find yarns from the book in stock, particularly the gorgeous Diaketo yarns used in the Fit and Flare Trumpet Skirt, the Laced Front Top and the Chocolate Creme shell.

Call (510) 339-6295 by this Friday, Nov 30th to reserve your place.

Making it Work!

Thanksgiving weekend is usually the time when I go up into the attic and take stock of our holiday decorations. I usually find some forgotten treasures up there as well as some winter clothing that needs to be brought down, washed and used.

In the case of the latter I found a bag of my son’s things and, to my shock and dismay, right beside it a bag of my sweaters!  This bag was to have gone into my office closet with some cedar sachets I’d made, but in his helpful enthusiasm was put into the attic by Stuart along with his coats and jeans.

I hoped against hope that there was no damage, and remarkably only one sweater showed signs of plunder. The bad news is that it was a favorite light grey cashmere cardigan. The left shoulder was absolute swiss cheese from moth damage  and there were holes scattered around the body.  I realized that the reason no other sweaters had any damage is that the cashmere was sitting on top of the stack, presented like a gourmet meal.

I brought it downstairs with me and began a pathetic attempt at mending the holes, but the repairs were quite obviously visible in the fine gauge knit. I thought about embroidering on top of the repairs to conceal them, but was a bit leery about taking on such a detailed project.  Then another idea; I would dye the cardigan (cashmere takes dye quite well) and some DK weight wool to match, then knit and crochet some foliage to applique on top of the damage. The pieces took about an hour and a half to make and another hour to sew on while watching Project Runway. In the words of Tim Gunn, ”Make it work!”

I’m pretty happy with the results and look forward to wearing this:

Giving Thanks

I have a lot to be thankful for, but one of the things that comes to mind most often is how grateful I am to be married to a wonderful man.

We spent Thanksgiving day with me on the sofa knitting and he in the kitchen cooking; him coming out to me now and then with little tidbits for tasting. It was just the two of us at home; our son went off to his father’s family.

Mike pulled out a few issues of his Cook’s magazines and worked out his creative ya-ya’s on dinner. He soaked the turkey in a brine solution and it came out wonderfully flavorful and quite moist.

 His dinner rolls were perfect, cranberry sauce amazing and bread pudding dessert divine. Check out the pretty little onion tart with the lattice top. Everything from scratch.

Kind of a sinful spread for just the two of us, but we thoroughly enjoyed it. Foodies? Us? Nah.

Did I mention that he roofed our house recently? I am a lucky gal.

What (White) Lies Beneath…

People see our ads in knitting magazines and think we’re  a large company with a huge staff housed in a corporate headquarters somewhere.

I’m going to blow our cover and tell the world it just ain’t so. We are a mom and pop business run by my husband and I out of our ranch style home in a quiet suburb of Sacramento, Ca.

Our autistic 17 year old son works in the business too; he stuffs patterns, labels yarns and helps with shipping. As nice as a corporate headquarters might be, we’re just not there yet.  I can’t say that I’m too sorry about that, plus I enjoy the fact that my commute takes all of 45 seconds every morning; from bedroom to office with a detour only to the kitchen for  my morning tea.

True, we have a lot of dedicated square footage just for business purposes. Dyeing, yarn storage, packing and shipping space, and office areas are used every day and there just isn’t a lot of crossover with personal space.

Except for my knitting corner, that is.

In any event, here are a few photos of White Lies Designs from the inside.

My husband with his IPod, winding some freshly dyed-and-dried hand dye.

More hand dyed yarn drying by the wood stove.

My inspiration board above my desk.

The mannequin on my desk with a work-in-progress.

It is a life that we just love. I think we work longer hours than most people in regular 9 to 5 jobs, but the benefits are huge. I get to knit every day!

Personal Knitting

When one is in the business of producing knitting patterns for sale, they find that personal knitting time becomes  almost non-existent.  I do like to knit my own samples as I can tweak fit and construction on the needles, and then write those changes into the pattern.  I’m not complaining  mind you, it’s just that when you knit for a living, any non-commercial knitting project becomes a luxury.

I do find some time to knit for myself, and the way I can justify it is to knit up my own designs in my own size to wear at shows,  for teaching gigs and booksigning appearances. I am also able to hurry things along sometimes by using my knitting machine, a simple-to-use LK 150.

Below, my version of the Colette Jacket in Cranberry. The back and upper sleeves all done on the knitting machine, the rest by hand, finished in the space of a week.

Knittus Cattimus Interrupti

I don’t frequently have the time to knit other designers patterns but sometimes my needles are itching to just knit without thinking too much. That’s when I begin to look around and see what others are doing that might fit into my wardobe.  I’d been wanting some kind of scarf wrap thingy and when I saw this I decided it really fit the bill.  Easy knitting, lots of garter stitch; in short, just the ticket.

This is the Modern Quilt Wrap by Mags Kandis and it’s a free pattern available on Knitting Daily.

I gleefully dragged out a large basket of assorted mohairs that I’ve been collecting over the last few years , chose a lovely palette that were brights contrasting with darker colors and began my mitered squares. I figured this would be something to wear when it’s chilly in the car, at the movies when the AC is too high, in the evening with my jean jacket when my husband and I go for walks. Little did I realize, someone else in the house had designs on my wrap.

Every time I was putting this down during the knitting, our cat would climb aboard.  I then recalled that almost every cat I have ever had has been inexplicably drawn to mohair.  As the wrap grew larger, she became more insistent.   My husband finally said, “You know she thinks that’s hers, right?” I didn’t want to admit he was right,  as at this point the wrap measured about 24″ x 24″ and I had invested  a few days of knitting into it already. But whenever I was working on it she would come and wait patiently for me to put it down , then settle her plump butt right on top of it,  needles and all. 

  I could no longer kid myself that I would be able to finish this out to the full 72″ that I wanted ( or even that it was mine ) , and so it stays at the perfect size for a kitten blanket.

Update, March 2008:   This fickle creature has completely rejected the kitten blanket after kneading it into shreads. I am so annoyed. I never should have given in to her!